Qui Audet Adipiscitur

The Old's Cool Tour is the only road rally in the world that features 1,000 miles of gorgeous scenery – New England in the fall, excuse me – but also visits en route the 8 most prestigious and beautiful colleges on the planet. So not only does it celebrate the automobile and the spirit of friendly competition, but it’s also all about school pride, which is deep, and forever.

This will be a GTA (Game-Tour-Adventure) event, with the emphasis on adventure and fun, but sprinkled with some cheek and wit. We'll be using an old-school 'road book' which'll include a list of tasks for each team to perform, puzzles to solve, and moderately-difficult general-knowledge questions as part of the official scoring. Answers will be graded, and a special LUKE BANTAM AWARD for the "Smartest Driver in the World" presented. This road book will also include useful and fascinating information (and trivia) about the Ivy League, including an exclusive neighborhood watering hole location indicator, mileage calculator, and local police/bail bondsmen phone numbers. Just kidding... about the fascinating Ivy League information.

What's actually on the menu?

Delicious, top-drawer fun. The OCT will be a 4-day event, starting this year at Old's Cool Tour Headquarters in Weston, CT. Each day will be divided into stages, roughly as follows, subject to change.

Wednesday, September 4th, 2019. Arrival and Welcome BBQ. We have reserved rooms at the Delamar Hotel in Southport for those who are coming into town a night early (not included in the entry fee), about a 15-minute drive away. Cars and support vehicles can be parked at there for the duration of the rally. Welcome BBQ will be from 5-9 pm at the Delamar Southport. We will have tech inspection for all cars and any last-minute adjustments made on the spot. We'll invite some of the local collectors to bring their vehicles for an impromptu car show, and we'll also plenty of cocktails and conversation. Transportation to the hotel will be available.

Thursday, September 5th, 2019. Pre-rally breakfast at the Delamar. Driver's/safety meeting at 7 am. Start time is 7:22, in honor of Sir Stirling Moss's start time/famous Mille Miglia Mercedes number. (This is a tongue-in-cheek reference; real start time is 7:30 am.

Day 1, Stage 1. OCT HQ - Yale, approximately 1 hour. Checkpoint at Yale is United Church on the Green. Stage 2. Yale - Brown, approximately 2 hours. Lunch at The Hope Club. Stage 3. Brown - Harvard, approximately 1 hour. Checkpoint is Harvard Yard (of 'pahk the cah in' fame). Stage 4. Harvard - Dartmouth, approximately 3 hours. Finish of Day 1 is on The Green at Dartmouth. We will have dinner and have invited some Old's Cool friends to join us at The Hanover Inn.

Friday, September 6th, 2019. Breakfast at The Hanover Inn. Day 2, Stage 1: Canaan Raceway for a timed laps. Stage 2: Canaan - Mt. Equinox (for a hillclimb and lunch with a view), approximately 3 hours. Stage 3: Mt. Equinox – Cornell. Finish of Day 2 is at The Statler Hotel, cocktails and dinner.

Saturday, September 7th, 2019. Breakfast, The Statler Hotel. Day 3, Stage 1: Cornell – SCCA Autocross. Stage 2: SCCA – Lazy Brook Park for lunch. Stage 3: Lazy Brook - U. Penn. Third overnight stop at The Inn at Penn Hotel, with attendence at the Radnor Hunt Ball.

Sunday, September 8th, 2018. Breakfast at The Inn at Penn Hotel. Day 4, Stage 1: U. Penn – Radnor Hunt Concours. Stage 2: Radnor - Princeton, approximately 2 hours. Lunch at The Cannon Club. Stage 3: Princeton - Columbia, approximately 2 1/2 hours. Checkpoint at Columbia is Daniel Chester French sculpture at The Low Library. Stage 4: Columbia - OCT HQ, approximately 1 1/2 hours. OCT HQ: Awards ceremony and farewell. Overnight at the Delamar (not included) for anyone who wants to spend the night.

How much does it cost?

Unforgettably charming and authentic road trip with a posse of interesting fellow enthusiasts on the most beautiful roads in this part of the world? Priceless. Poetry and Visa commercial satire aside, the early-bird discount price is $4999, double occupancy, and the closing date for all entries is March 1, 2019. Payment must be made in full, either by credit card, PayPal, or by check at the time of submission.

N.B. There are no refunds after June 1st. If you're in for a penny, you're in for a pound. Let's rally, man!

Can you make the grade?

The OCT was created with Ivy League car enthusiasts who graduated 25+ years ago in mind, but we'd also like to include the younger grads too, as well as competitive car enthusiasts from other universities. Since there is also an eclectic mix of serious gear heads who have unique automobiles but who are die-hard outsiders, we'll hold a few slots open for these more than welcome independents. We'll include a few bikers too, just to break the mold. Each team (consisting of a driver and navigator, both of whom must be 18+ years old) will be able to compete as representatives of their school, or simply for the personal fame and glory of winning the 'Oneupmanship Cup.'

Uncle Joe, far left, at Seekonk Speedway with Freddy Astle and driver Gene Le Tourneau, circa 1952.

There will also be the 'Uncle Joe' award for the craziest/coolest ham-and-egger (who actually finishes), with most or all of his faculties, and car, intact. Named after Joseph J. O'Connell, one of the best and funniest car and boat lover guys we've ever known. There are two other awards: The Gold Standard, for best driver on the track/hillclimb/autocross, and the Luke Bantam Award for the smartest person on the tour. Finally, there's the Mary Karl Koozie for smoothest and coolest overall participant.

We'd like to engage and inspire a new generation.

The Old's Cool Tour will have several levels of sponsorship, which we'd like to think are more like partnerships – all of us working together to promote our mutual love (and driving) of vintage cars. Oneupmanship is already on board again this year as the Trophy Sponsor, and will be providing all the cool car clobber.

What we're really interested in is engagement, interaction, and inspiring a new generation more than anything. Instead of placing your logo on our website for a fee, which is completely unoriginal and boring, we'd much rather have you 'sponsor' a team from the local technical college who will buy a vintage car, for example, fix it up, and run it in the tour. We can auction it off at the end, or just give it to one of the worthy participants. A vintage breast-cancer awareness car fixed up and driven by a team of young women to show there are no gender lines when it comes to elbow grease. An underprivileged youth team without resources but with drive and vision. These types of hands-on participation will hopefully instill in the young people involved a love of the hobby, and a can-do and self-reliant attitude towards life that will give them the confidence and courage to succeed in anything they do.

Good old-fashioned wind-in-the-hair fun, and a dog – dunnt get any better.

We'd also like to have other industries and individuals who see the benefits of the old-school values we're trying to inspire in others by living them ourselves come on board. Let's get that start-up company making electric motorcycles to buy an old VW Beetle and install one of their engines in it for the ultimate repurpose-recycle-reuse project. Or, how about a chemical company (or chinese restaurant?) inviting a local high school team to convert a vintage Mercedes diesel to run on bio-fuel? Let's cast a broad, creative net with our universal old's cool theme and authenticity, rather than just limit ourselves to cars and colleges.

We'd love to hear how you and your organization could bring something excellent, original and exciting to the table.

Yes, I want to be part of this awesome adventure.

Doing well by doing good.

The Wyakin Warrior Foundation, based in Boise, Idaho, which helps severely wounded veterans to achieve business success and was founded by our good friend Jeff Bacon, will be one of the official charities of the OCT. Again, we'd like to encourage each charity to purchase, restore, and rally a vintage vehicle – elbow grease and sweat equity are the best investments in human capital you could ever make in our opinion – hard work and personal fulfillment are the most dignified way to get people back on their feet, hands down. If you have another fund or foundation you'd like to recommend, please let us know. We aren't judgemental or prejudiced – how about a pink breast cancer car with an all-female crew? We know a lot of women who like to wrench and drive and compete, and do all of the above with gusto and style. We will be happy to donate a percentage of the profit to your worthy causes.

There's a lot of life lessons to be learned scattered about.

Old-School Excellence

Unforgettable, first-class rally experience, for participants, schools, spectators and sponsors. Hopefully, the locals'll love it too. We'll do everything we can to make sure everyone has a good time by offering the best possible amenities, accommodations, spectacular scenic travel route, competitive atmosphere, and professional and friendly staff. Security will be provided around the clock to protect all cars, equipment and the innocent, if necessary. Even though each team will be responsible for getting their ensemble (car, driver, navigator, chase vehicle and fans) to each checkpoint in one piece, or as close to one piece as possible, we will have an official OCT rescue vehicle bringing up the rear on every stage of the rally, with a mechanic and transport trailer to help out anyone broken down or out of gas, literally or figuratively.

Both can provide a classic education.

Go, Drive, Win.

We've even got our own O' Fight Song, sent in by our good friend Fernando Juan Alva Miras:

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh (2x)/Old's Cool, Old's Cool, Old's Cool/These hallowed pistons reign/with honor, pride and fame./A One-up-man-ship game./Old's Cool Old's Cool, Old's Cool

Are you ready for the big (Ivy) league?

You can sign up here to request an invitation, to receive more information about partnerships, or to subscribe to The Oneupmanshipping News which contains the latest OCT breaking news and updates, and is sent out fairly regularly on Wednesdays, or whenever absolutely necessary.

If you just want to get in touch with us – to ask a question (please make it short, relevant, and easy to answer); to pay us a compliment, or many; to offer an above-the-belt criticism or complaint; or to just say hello – at least do so with some vim and panache, please. We can also be reached on 203.451.5127, or give johnnymustard@oldscooltour.com a shout. OCT Global HQ is located at 13 Wilson Road, Weston, Connecticut 06883 if you'd like to pop by – door's always open.